The need to be accepted

Forward (beo)This is a draft chapter from excerpts of my book, “Between God…..” I choose to leave the rest of the title blank until the entire body of work has been completed.

I write from the perspective of my experiences with the prayer and expectation that through my identification of my own inner struggles, and thought process and behaviors that someone can be released. What’s more important is that if you see something you can identify within your own personal situation; glean knowledge and ask for assistance from the Almighty, and prayerfully your season of struggle will be short because of spiritual understanding surrounding your situation.

Cultures vary across nations and within individual sects. However, one thing is apparent throughout any culture; and that is the majority of people within that culture strive to be accepted. Western social construct typically emphasizes individualism while Eastern social constructs strives towards group membership. Basically Westerners seek autonomy and look inward (inside themselves) while Eastern Social constructs seek to adhere within the group. An example of this would be that the group concerns would be first and foremost rather than the individual’s desire.

There are many theories when one speaks of societal impact upon a person’s personality; dissonance, peer pressure, implicit and explicit attitudes, pro-social behaviors, aggression, prejudice; it would appear the theories are endless. Yet I think we all realize that there is a desire to fit within a certain circle within our society particularly within Western cultures. It would almost appear paradoxical for ‘we’ approve individualistic natures; yet at the same time when one doesn’t adhere to the actions of the pack, then they are typically condoned. Or if one goes against the nature or thought process of the pack, that person is often pressured to adhere or eventually put outside the pack. For the terms of this component we will identify the pack as circle for so many identify with the terms ‘circle’ or ‘inner-circle’. Mind you whatever term is identified or used, more often than not certain behaviors are associated with the social constructs.

I am appreciative of the season that God has been allowing me to walk in as of late. Each test, trial and situation is bringing me to places of importance that I might share with others. Whether we understand it or not…we are all on a life journey and we all need as much assistance as possible. With that said, I am grateful that this particular chapter is written for THIS season of my life. At the beginning of July, I spent a bit of time in Florida with two of my favorite people in the world; Sean and Debbie Cort. The time spent with them was wonderful. Words can not describe all the information gleaned, given, shared and expounded within that short time period. I believe that as our journeys continue to cross paths, that that same information will explode and grow beyond the depths of our own finite understanding. God has a sense of humor because there were days that information seemed to leap out at us, while other days we had to dig for understanding. There were moments of pause out of wonder and other moments of pure praise and worship and nightly prayer often shifted the reality of where we were in the natural into a transition in the spirit. This experience I realize will be duplicated; it was the initial beginning of a process that will be continued. Too often each of us struggle within our inner circles never migrating outward to seek out understanding and assemble additional knowledge for our life journey. God gave word to me that when I am in bereft places and need knowledge and solitude then I am to go to where Sean and Debbie are; hence, Sean that house is coming because I need a place to lay my head in rest when the ministry becomes too much to handle. When I’ve pulled off situations, spirits and recessed dark places off other folk and can not find my way to the surface of understanding of that moment.

Today is Monday, August 03, 2009 and it is with clear understanding as to why this chapter needed to be written. No one else can write it for me, but prayerfully can identify with me. I was in conversation on yesterday morning with a friend of mine and was told that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions. This is something, I was taught all my life, but when it comes to certain areas of my life, I am just beginning to realize that often I regress and forget this concept. He is a very wise man and I am appreciative of his role in my life. So as I was riding this morning at dawn (this is my prayer time) I began to think upon some of the things he and I discussed. The Lord began to take me back to my youth which I have been doing as of late and I came to a conclusion about my life.

There are many theories of transitioning from childhood to adolescence like Piaget and Freud; but there is a specific psychological construct that speaks to identity and or role confusion and diffusion by Erik Erikson.

{The search for a personal identity also includes the formation of a personal ideology or a philosophy of life that can serve to orient the individual. Such a perspective aids in making choices and guiding behavior. A personal identity influences the adolescent for the rest of their life. If the adolescent bows out and adopts someone else' identity or ideology, it is often less satisfactory than developing their own. The adopted ideology rarely becomes personal and can lead to foreclosure in adolescent development.

The positive outcome of the identity crisis is dependent on the young person's willingness to accept his past and establish continuity with their previous experiences. The adolescent must find an answer to the question: "Who Am I?" Other questions that must be answered include: "Where am I going?" "Who am I to become?" There must be a commitment to a system of values - religious beliefs, vocational goals, a philosophy of life, and an acceptance of one's sexuality. Only through the achievement of these aspects of ego-identity can it be possible for the adolescent to move into "adult maturity," achieve intimacy of sexual and affectional love, establish deep friendships, and achieve personal self-abandon without fear of loss of ego-identity (Muuss, 1975, p.66). }Footnote # 1

Basically the two paragraphs above are stating that children must make the proper transition into adulthood with clear understanding of their life circumstances without suffering an identity crisis. All behaviors and situations have to be categorized properly, or there is a possibility of a disconnect of emotions and or healthy behaviors within the child if a traumatic situation arises that the child must internally process.

My friend BM and I were talking about how society on a whole feels the need to be accepted and identified within a circle. Each of us desires to be loved, but so many are not willing to work for the love and that level of transparency in relationships that gives equal opportunity to both people. Marriage is a commitment and takes work of both partners. I have been married before and as I look back it is with understanding that the commitment level of both people was not equal. I am not one to run away from relationships, whether in marriage or in friendship, but there comes a time when dysfunction and I can not co-exist; boundaries must be set and if the situation has not changed and I am given permission, I’m out. Please be aware this component comes after much praying, fasting, understanding and lying prostrate before the Almighty. My strength is situated in Him.

The most recent traumatic event in my life was my impending marriage of July 2009; but only one of us was walking in the position of true commitment. One of us made choices that put the other person in a place of not being able to make preferable healthy choices. Thus here I stand, grateful that God has shifted my season once again and has allowed me to become whole, sane and clearly focused for the next phase of my life. I am now just beginning to understand that I dislike it when situations and or people take my choices away from me. There is something powerful about being able to make a choice. The reality is most of us don’t always make the proper and or healthy choice. More often than not the choice is based upon emotions rather than a mindset. Even in our relationship with God, He gives us a choice. Joshua 24:15 speaks of a choice to follow after the one true God….but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Making choices allows us ownership and prayerfully participation in the consequences. Many times if the situation/circumstances is more than our mental mind can handle, we check out emotionally and mentally creating a domino effect of unpleasant choices.

A few weeks ago while reflecting I began to link some of my current situations and understandings. It became quite clear the two normal, non-dysfunctional relationships growing up with men were with my grandfathers. Following that process, I began to understand that the majority of the other relationships were dysfunctional; and it appeared they were always taking from me rather than giving to me. This was powerful. I could now attribute, link, reflect, dissect and reconstruct to understand some of my life decisions. Both grandfathers were loving, kind and left me a legacy and code to live by. Yet I now know they could not protect me from life and the circumstances I would encounter. I was able to enjoy both of them until I turned 30 when the Lord saw fit to remove them both from me within a year of each other. It was a difficult period in my life.

Even now there are moments that become overwhelming when I think of my loss. There was a connection between us that is indescribable. To top that off, the two of them were best friends. I don't believe most people were aware of the depth of their friendship. When my maternal grandfather was sick and in the nursing home, my paternal grandfather would visit him regularly. In fact when my maternal grandfather passed away, it was my paternal grandfather who was sent to give me the news. Our state council meeting was going on and I received word my grandfather wanted to speak to me. As he sat me down, he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me the news. As I began to cry, he said, "Belinda, we all must die at some point in our lives. Even I have to go eventually". My response to him was, "Grandaddy I understand that, but that does not make it any easier". Unbeknownst to me then, he was sick and was trying to warn me of his upcoming demise.

I don’t think either foresaw all I would go through before and after they were gone. However, my paternal grandfather did prepare me with a few words of wisdom before he departed. So I am honored that he prepped me before he left this earth. We spent many of conversations before his death, for I was home with my second son Josh, while he recuperated from his illness. I give you that glimpse of my relationship with the two of them so you might understand the level of my loss. As I reflect back, I believe he was aware of some of my impending circumstances. He was a Man of God who discerned many a situations. He believed in protecting and exposing his family all at the same time. He protected us when necessary and just as swiftly when we were wrong he executed judgment.

I don’t think I ever shared with him that fateful night when a relative made a choice for me. His (my cousin) selfishness opened up many doors in my life that more often than not left me struggling to hold on. Don’t get it twisted. I am a fighter, a survivor, but as I stated my strength comes from above. Yet I realize that so many of my decisions should have produced a different outcome. On the other hand, it is with understanding that my life is in the hands of the Master and I am a living example of His love and grace. I must remain transparent that others through my test and trials will be able to survive. I remember a few years ago calling one of my friends to tell him that because I was coming out of my tests and trials, the same would follow for him. That person was Elder Sean Cort and needless to say, he was not as excited as I was, but that was ok because God had given me revelation and I was running with it. It was then He was teaching me that often I would be the forerunner for the deliverance of others.

A situation recently culminated this whole understanding of how the need to be accepted often drives many of us into certain situations we would avoid at all cost. There is a level of co-dependency; the dominant person in the relationship creates the atmosphere of the relationship; while the submissive person follows. This might be construed in many ways, but for the moment I am referring to dysfunctional relationships. First I began to understand that most of the men in my life disappointed me on so many levels from my father to my children’s father to my fiancée as well as others. Please understand not all of my relationships were dysfunctional for I have many close friends who have been there for me; I am not speaking of them, but the vital relationships that are important; those that surround my children and myself. Over the past eight years when there was lack; God sent provision. The peering into my childhood allowed some insight and it was if a light bulb went off in my head. Then I began to remember how many of my cousins assisted in additional dysfunction by taunting me about my looks and weight. It is with understanding now, I realize they were mean and vicious and clearly had their own personal struggles going on. Hurting people hurt other people whether it is intended or not. The only time in my life when I was small was around age six. There was a picture of a skinny little thing: and it was me. After that, I was short and stocky until around 19. I was the last developing female in my circle. It probably didn’t help that I was a tomboy and hung with the guys and perferred to hang with the guys. Well one young cousin mentioned I had no shape. Oh Lord, that suggestion has been ringing in my head for years. I took her thought process and made it my own and took ownership of it. So in spite of what everyone saw on my outward appearance, within I saw something different. Oh, I could play off the confidence like nobody’s business and had a whole lot of folk thinking I had it together. That was then, this is now. Now I understand who I am and who I belong to and have begun to walk in my proper position.

Ok, I can hear some of you now, stating that is crazy to hold onto another's thought process all these years. Why didn’t you ignore the comment? Remember this is about the need to be accepted. Staying and making decisions in the circle and attempting everything in one’s power not to be ostracized. Here’s another powerful concept; this need was now translated into my dating and relationship stage. Remember Erikson’s theory, one must transition dealing with life situations as an adolescent and must adhere to manage the changeover to adulthood.

My children are important to me and I value their presence in my life; but I have to be honest my marriage was living hell. It consisted of dysfunction on so many levels. It is by my God’s goodness and grace that I stand in my right mind and am not in an insane asylum nor in jail. I have watched the ex-factor exact abuse at me in front of my father without the proper response from my father. I now wonder was this a level of acceptance on my father’s part; his desire to keep a peace which clearly didn’t exist. I will not take ownership of his nor the ex’s behavior, but I will take ownership of my own and will no longer accept dysfunction.

The situation that arose recently assisted in my understanding that clearly and inherently whether I was willing to admit it or not, I want to be accepted. Not on all levels, but it is clear there are issues surrounding certain types of relationships; and these relationship constructs. I am often deemed the rebel, but trust me now I do have a cause. As a teenager, I was a handful, often terrorizing many with my quick wit, and my sharp and vicious tongue. There are scriptures that speak to guarding one’s mouth and that the tongue is a weapon that can cause destruction. Luke 6:45 tells us that out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. One of my mentors mentioned to be about my behavior of my youth and for me to go back and assess what had happened to me to cause a pleasant child to transition into a hellion on two feet. At this moment I can only surmise on certain understandings and am still asking God for revelation. I have however, placed a watch over my mouth and am very careful in how I respond. Mind you the quick wit and tongue are still in my possession, but God's gift of transformation has assisted me in balancing many thought processes in regards to my response. Oh but every once in a while, we still need Jesus for a quick touch (lol).

The component I do understand is my relative started this process; but I am putting an end to it. So for every moment the enemy thought he had me, I stand to let him know he does not. I will not seek the need to be accepted in relationships at my own destruction. I now understand that many of the choices of behaviors surrounding me growing up and within my marriage and dating relationships were the behaviors of the person in that particular action and they need to take ownership of said behaviors. I am not a product of dysfunction and I am responsible for me and what and who I choose to let into my circle. Healthiness is attracted to healthiness and seeks out the same. While dysfunction seeks healthiness but can not maintain its status quo.

Psychology is the study of the mind, but God created the mind. When we desire wholeness and seek His face and after His righteousness things began to fall into place and He allows us to understand where we are in our current season and will send us direction in coming out of our dysfunction. I no longer want to be accepted by those that are not in the same path/circle as those that are striving for God and will make proper choices. I will continue to seek after my God’s face with the expectation of reaching higher heights and deeper depths within His presence.

Matthew6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Chapter dedicated to Sean and Deborah Cort and BM
Jireh’s Promise
Copyrighted 2009
Please do not post without permission

References
Aronson, Wilson, Akert. (2007). Social Psychology (6th Edition). New Jersey, Pearson/Prentice Hall
http://www.psyking.net/id183.htm retrieved 8/3/09

The eye of the beholder

Some of my friends have dubbed me the ‘fine’ preacher. I find that interesting because when I look in the mirror that’s not what I see. I do see the face of a light skinned sister who has struggled with her identity for years because of the names that she was called down through the years. It ranges from: yellow, to tweetie bird, to house Negro, to redbone to fat/ chubby, and one of my favs, “Oh, you’re a big girl” and the list goes on. It’s interesting because each of us sees something different when we look at our individual mirrors. It would appear at times based on how variations of style, dress and what-not; that many do not look in the mirror at all. Some of us struggle with self esteem concerns while others have an internal concept of beauty that must be shared with the world, whether the world likes it or not. To put it in a nutshell, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. This is an interesting concept to say the least because based on psychological terms it could be construed as an inward concept if the person is beholding themselves in a mirror. Or it could be outward because an external perception is being assessed by someone other than the object of beauty. Yet throughout all of these concepts, theories and possibilities there is one who stands above the rest and that is God. If He is the creator, the one who designed beauty, form and function; what is His concept when He sees us? What is His definition of beauty as He beholds us?

In my quest for knowledge and understanding surrounding mankind’s thought process and my struggle to understand why ‘we’ do what we do and why ‘we’ think the way we think I have taken a college level class in Social Psychology. I believe in God and His creation and realize that He gives us instruction on every area of our lives. However, I also believe that it is His intention that we continue to seek out knowledge to assist us on our life journey and when much is given, much is required. Growing up, my mind seemed to work a bit differently than my peers. I was always watching, assessing and analyzing. In actuality I thought I was strange, different and weird. I was an introvert who learned to be an extrovert when necessary. I often felt alone, even when I was in a crowd of people or at a party or function with countless friends; I still felt lonely, bereft and by myself. Often I would hang out in my room at home finding something funny and cracking up all by myself; my mother would poke her head around the door, turn around and leave. My sense of humor was weird and quite witty. That clearly has translated into who I am today. Often my friends call me the instigator and know when I pop up on the scene; “B got something to say”. However, in all my laughter, cracking jokes and silliness it is never my intention to willingly hurt anyone. Job was going through some trying times in his life. God had allowed satan to buffet him and man was he going through. Yet in Job 8:21 it gives strength to joy in the form of laughter; one of his friends was trying to encourage him….”He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy”.

It is with clear understanding that now I understand the loneliness component was given by God; I am to stay in His face, only He can fill those empty spots that were created by Him to be filled by Him. No one else can come close to sustaining that void. Now that I am ‘grown’ it is with understanding on my life quest that I began to understand just a little bit about life. But, I realized that the more knowledge I glean it is clear that I actually know very little; and through this process I found a fit with my mind and the studying of psychology; and all my different thoughts fit into many theories and concepts that were written, studied and shared within the psychological community. Eureka! Please understand God is always my first basis; and the scriptures assist us on every level of our lives; and psychology gives us some theories to behold. Not all theories are concrete for many are abstract and cannot be pinned down….ahhh…but I’m an abstract thinker. My instructions are to make you think; and is you seek to know, I know God will provide the answer. So prayerfully what is given in this chapter will begin a thought process to assist you about beauty and the ‘eye of the beholder’.

The following is a description from my Social Psych class. Throughout all of my classes it is my desire to take the text book information and clarify the process so that anyone can understand it. So often researchers write above lay people when it comes to knowledge components; hence I like to break it down so it is palatable to the taste.

Social science is the basis of study of actions, thought processes and behaviors that are influenced by other people. “It is rooted in the study of individuals with an emphasis on internal psychological processes.” It may also include how we perceive each other or how others view us (in our minds). Within this concept each of us may have difficulty in separating out our opinions, our beliefs and our values. Within the research of social science, “scientists may study and gauge our reactions, assumptions and ideas about human social behavior empirically and systematically”. They do this rather than taking society’s word for a situation or set of ethics that maybe culturally biased. Opinions of ancestors and folklore are rarely taken into consideration. (beo, Charter Oak, Spring PSY 321)

There is another theory called Social Comparison Theory. Basically it states we learn about ourselves based on what others think of us. We look to others to define our abilities and attitudes. This is interesting because in no way does it state to look to the one who created us (God). In addition when speaking of theories; if one were to add dissonance into the equation that would be an additional behavior that deems that when one is not comfortable with what is going on; they adapt or change their behavior based upon the immediate situation. My word this sounds like mumbo jumbo. I can hear some of the older generations now, “just stick to the word”. I agree, the word is our most powerful construct of information for it is living and discerns; but dealing with other theories, prayerfully gives us a glimpse of what we need to survive in today’s society; for much has changed. The word has not changed, but society has. We no longer live in a world that has jobs surrounded by factory workers. People’s minds are quicker and they process information at a different rate than ever before. We have become masters at multi-tasking in theory. In reality multi-tasking doesn’t truly exist; we just move from one task to another and revert back and forth among the current tasks. As we age due to physical body constraints, most of us lose that ability keep working tasks in order.

Studies have been done to prove what is attractable to the masses. Certain nose types are preferable as well as mouth, cheeks, and foreheads. We now live in an age when one is not happy with a body part; technology gives us options through liposuction, body reconstruction and plastic surgery. Few if any consult the Master Constructor to see if He approves, not understanding we were each given what He wanted us to have. We have become a mass of people that seek to be like each other in dress, looks and abilities. Remember we are talking about social psychology and the Social Comparison Theory and the ‘eye of the beholder’.

As much as we talk about other cultures and how race, class and socio-economic status separates people within a culture; the same applies to the Western Culture. The same actually applies to race to race. As I stated earlier I was called quite a few names growing up. Most words pegged to me actually had more to do with my complexion than anything else. Of course, as I grew older, quite often the names changed and assumptions were made. I did not realize that there was a war between the sisters of my race. My family contains a rainbow of colors and most of our friends were from a variety of cultures and races. Therefore, in my mind no one exceeded the other. Yet living in the real world, the components are always different. I struggled in elementary school because of my long hair, light skin and proper speech. I remember one girl putting tacks on my chairs and being exposed to inappropriate behavior exacted by her. I never did learn why she disliked me so, I can only surmise at this point in my life. However, it did become clear a lot had to do again with complexion. It was as if people did not take time to learn what was on the inside but only viewed the outer house.

I remember one evening a couple of years ago; a friend invited me to a NAACP dinner. Mind you he called me at the last minute which gave me very little time to prepare. I love attending the NAACP Annual dinners, so trust me I met him at the hotel where the dinner was being held on time. I was looking forward to an inspiring evening with my fellow brothers and sisters of common ground. As we entered the lobby of the hotel together it was as if quite a few eyes were watching. Now that I think about it quite a few of the sisters probably thought I was white so some thought processes might have been, “there goes another of our brothers who sold out”. Some of the brothers had a different thought process in mind; a trophy. One man I dated, a psychologist, I had to continually remind him I was not a trophy. This preconceived notion is one of bias and I understand beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but my thought process was and continues to be that there is more substance to me than anything. I am in position to realize I am more spirit than flesh, and all that you see of my outward housing is the magnitude of who and what God says I am.

At another NAACP Annual Dinner, this time dateless; I had the opportunity to experience another type of predisposed notion. This time the experience was sister on sister. I have a pair of black and pink pumps. They are tight! I have received compliments from male and female alike when I wear them. I remember as I approached the restroom during the special event; two sisters who happened not to be as light as I am were coming out of the door. Both looked me up and down, laid eyes on my shoes and gave me a dismissive look. Within my spirit I knew they loved the shoes, but because our culture and social influence neither said a word to me. These behaviors bother me. How can we ask others to perceive us a certain way if we can’t manage the behaviors among ourselves. I cannot change my outward appearance, however, prayerfully I can help assist in some of the injustices that are heaped among many because their beauty is not the typical perceived beauty. I remember a conversation a childhood friend and I had a couple of years ago. She thought my life growing up had been easier because of my complexion. I was like, “girl no. It’s been hell”; I’ve been through what you’ve been through, but just on the other side. Prayerfully we can learn to assist in healing our wayward thought process of beauty. We all must do our part. I make a note of telling little girls to young women to women in general of their beauty; light, dark, brown, yellow. If she has on an outfit or shoes that I think are hot, I make a point to say it. I will not walk by drinking haterade. We must learn to celebrate who we are. Take the power away from the enemy and build people up; tearing down is his job.

For so long, beauty has taught us to seek after things that are not after God’s heart. Society has taught us the beauty is in your possessions. Beauty is equated to sex, to cars, to people and homes. Beauty is flaunted everywhere; but is it true beauty? My first semester back in school, I had to do a research paper and I chose to write about the media and its influence on teens. As I began my research I came across a concept called the ‘thin ideal body image’. Basically there is a concept that thin is the perfect ideal body size; and the media uses the ‘thin ideal’ to push teens into certain thought process. Teens are pressed to think that thin is in and being larger is out. This in turn hypes of sales of certain types of clothes, cell phones and other items that teens purchase. I looked at certain body types and certain ethnicities to validate this concept. Mind you the two do not match, yet the media continues to propagate this. It’s all about the sales! Unbelievable isn’t it? It was astounding how many young people persuaded their parents to allow them to change breast size, increase buttocks, change nose, mouths and other types of surgery to alter their persona. How many times have you seen a certain type of car and cuddled up close is a sexy model? The thought process is that if you buy that car, the action gives you access to sex or someone sexy. Sex sells. Hotness sells. Remember we are gauging our perceptions based on our peers and how beauty is perceived within the world/the beholder.

It’s interesting how in Isaiah 53:2 it speaks the prophetic word of Christ: He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. It would appear there was simplicity about Christ, meaning that his physical appearance was not the defining factor on his person. Yet there is a contrast in Psalms 27:4 where it speaks to the beauty of the Lord: One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Esther was prepped for one year before she was brought before the king (Esther 2:12 Before a girl's turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics). Cleary the word gives value to beauty. It is God who created man in his image and throughout the Old Testament there were attractive people.

However, in today’s society beauty has escalated to a point where it is sought from the outward rather than the inward and in Proverbs 31 we are told that beauty is fleeting. Which means it will not last forever and in the same context we are told that a woman who fears the Lord…well she is to be praised. Basically we need to begin to seek for the understanding concept of beauty within the inward components of our heart. This can only be accompanied by our relationship with God. The concept that beauty is skin deep is correct; for it is fleeting, outward and if one were to actually peel back the layers of skin what is underneath; cells, blood vessel, canals, bone and cartilage. Amazing isn’t it? What we perceive is only a housing of our spirits. The word states that flesh and blood shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Blood offers a stench in God’s nostrils without a sacrifice. Imagine standing before Him only in our spirit, looking into His piercing eyes giving an account of every deed that we have done. Now that would be the time that one would imagine that they could explain their desires of instant gratification, search for beauty and complications of their sinful life.

I cannot change the masses thought process of how they perceive beauty or even their intense quest to acquire possessions and or situations based on beauty. However, I can continue to seek after God’s heart for my own understanding of beauty. I realize that often when walking through the stores, malls or on the streets, that as people follow me with their eyes, many stare with a puzzled look upon their face as if to say what is different about her. My prayer is that they are seeing the beauty from within rather than the beauty that is without for I realize that my beauty is contained within the eyes of my beholder and that is MY KING!

Psalms 27
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Jireh’s Promise
Copyrighted 2009
Please do not post without permission