Ahhh…time for reflection for real..lol..
Honestly I don’t even know if I can get everything that I’ve gone through over the past 10 years into a few paragraphs…so I’ll give a few highlights and later yall can check out the full version in my book (smile). This is the very first time I am beginning to share some of the past nine years in writing. However, the purpose of me writing and sharing is to let somebody know that no matter what you go through in life; when your life and goals are anchored in Christ; and you have an established relationship with Him, then all things work together for your good. Matthew 6:33 and Romans 8:28
As the decade rolled in (2000) everyone was experiencing a shift either naturally or spiritually. The world was talking about Y2K and the ability for computers to either reset back to the 1900’s or that the world was going to end. Patches were being created to keep systems from crashing while people in general became aware that one decade had faded into oblivion and another one was beginning. Many of the elders of previous generations never thought they would live to see the year 2000 let alone experience all the joys and pains that came along with it. Little did I realize my personal life was about to come crashing down around my head and there was no escape. It was a year that I got a BMW for Valentine’s Day, but truth be told that was a material possession; and that as time continued along I realized that possessions had little or no value compared to the value of my life. I believe it was the year 1999 that I was separated from my husband at the time - - no check that - - I was put out; out in the snow and it wasn’t the first time. That particular time I lived above my parents for a few months before going back home. Have you ever been in a situation where you do all that you can to rectify the problem, but it feels like you are the only one working on the matter? Welcome to my life.
Anyway 2000 saw a time frame where the husband went to jail for about three months. That alone was an experience. Even back then God was showing me favor and taking me places I had never been before. It began in 1998 and I remember my foster daughter Myra calling me and wanting to come over out of the blue; who but God for how could I even share the knowledge of what was initially going on. I was able to leave the children with her and head to the police station to handle business. Mind you I had not one clue how to bail someone out of jail; and the officers literally assisted me in my endeavors by allowing me to use their personal space/offices to make phone calls. As I sat in the station waiting I saw the familiar face of one of our area’s news reporters and my heart sank; for I knew it was regarding the immediate circumstance. Another notch in the belt of hits; the news coverage was on television around the state and in the local newspaper. I could only think of my eldest son who had the same name as his father. Well we weathered that until 2000 came around where the only income was available while the husband was incarcerated was from my job; and I had three little ones at home to take care of. In the meantime I learned to take the children to see their father where he was located. I learned the system of taking a couple of the children, checking in ½ hour before visitor time and the most valuable lesson of all; women who went out of their way to see their men. It was there that I saw some of the most haunted faces of various cultures and ethnicities. You could actually discern the hope, faith and despair on their faces all mixed in with components of frustration. See at anytime a lock down could occur and all the time spent planning and waiting would be for naught. More so than that I doubt if any of them actually wanted to believe and think that their men were guilty of the crimes they were accuse of. See women want with all their heart to believe that they have good men who are doing their best to take care of their families. Many days I sat there saddened to see the looks. See personally, I was only there for my children’s sake and I knew the person in my life was guilty of the crime he was accused of.
Towards the end of the quarter of 2000 the man of the house came home and in my typical fashion of who I am – forgiveness was granted and I tried to continue life; however, it was with the realization that love covers; but yet one must adjust their mind frame and process around the previous issues. Needless to say life was not easy. See I was married to a person who was basically selfish and the marriage was verbally abusive. In addition, my spirit was disturbed; something wasn’t quite right; but God wasn’t allowing me to see all the components of the situation. See for years I had been asking God Almighty to get me out. Oh, I knew how to manage the details and issues around me but there were days I was shaky at best. God was keeping me covered because I had almost lost my mind two previous times. Around May 2001, my spirit became settled through various means and I made my petition before God; I will be in this marriage until you say so - - not just my body, but my mind and my spirit. What’s interesting about God and our relationship is when we truly become transparent before Him, He actually bestows a mind frame to us based upon His mind. It’s one of strength, endurance and in reality Joy. I forgot to mention that as I laid before God in prayer, I also asked him to uncover any issues that were not seemingly in and around my life. Well folk it was in May 2001 that my life literally blew up before my eyes.
I love my relationship with God because of all that I go through He still keeps me covered and cares about the little things in my life. The husband threatened my life and based on circumstances I was out of my house with approximately two set of clothes to wear. It was a wash one wear one deal for about a week. My children and I moved in with my cousins. The same week information came to light; the husband was found to be creeping (again). This time nothing could be rectified and so begun the process of restraining orders, filing for divorce, battling over the children, losing my possessions, losing my children among other things. My BMW had sugar put in the tank; the transmission fluid drained, I was stalked, harassed, threatened, well you get my point. God was taking me through a process that had I known was coming, I personally would NOT have been praying for exposure in my life. Talk to me back then and my thought process would have been whoa..no way..I can’t handle that. Yet here I am about to close out the decade in my right mind, thought process and standing victorious in all that God is allowing me to put my hands to.
Trust me I’ve been to hell and back, but I’M STILL HERE. God has shown Himself faithful in every situation in my life from 2000 until 2009. He has made some promises He has yet to fulfill for me. He has promised to restore to me; and ten is the number of restoration and so I look forward to 2010 with expectation of His Glory! It’s about your faith which takes you from one level of faith to another level of faith to glory; His glory in and around your life. When God speaks of the ‘joy of the Lord is your strength’; it is not always about a physical manifestation of joy you can see but about the process that He has personally designed you to go through. The people in the book of Nehemiah had been through something’s. We as people will always have struggles and triumphants and personal loss; but God is looking for relationship through the entire process with you. He loves it when you lean on Him and asks Him for help. See we live in a time frame where you hear transparency and communication on a regular basis from the President, Congress, down to our personal relationships. Yet it is difficult to be transparent with each other if your relationship with God does not denote the same. It is difficult to communicate with each other if you are not communicating with God. The word/bible is but a map to lead one to how God thinks. You can not know Him without knowing what is in the word. They go hand in hand. The word became flesh (John 1:14) and dwelt among us which means Christ came to show us the path to salvation, the path of light not darkness. Nothing evil dwelt in Him and He is your clear pathway to salvation. Even more so it is about divine relationship and Him dwelling on the inside.
Here’s an example; a piece of fruit that is rotten is rotten from the core out. The rottenness comes from bacteria. How often have you bit into fruit that looks beautiful from the outside but once bitten the core is brown? It is the same process with our lives. Our outer core is our flesh which in reality is still rotting flesh; for we must bath daily, scrub, perfume, poke, squeeze, etc. until we look of perfection. Yet inward many of us are suffering in spite of the good looking outward exterior. Beauty is fleeting but a when we praise our God He will cleanse us from the inside out!
So as we closeout this decade I encourage you to set your sights on the New Year with a different mind frame. Think of relationship; a relationship with one who can ease your sorrow, and your pain; even your difficulties in how you approach your life problems. I have only shared a small portion of my life from the past ten years and there is so much more. Yet I give of myself so you might understand that serving God beats everything else hands down. I’M STILL HERE!!!
I pray increase and knowledge into your life by the mere fact of reading this blog. I encourage you to seek His face and ask for His wisdom. I declare a moving and shifting within your spirit and state that your life shall never be the same again! Go in peace….
Seek to know that you might grow.
In His service,
B
12/31/2009 4:00 PM
JIREH'S PROMISE
COPYRIGHT 2009
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