I come from a male dominated car driving family. The men in my life when I was growing up just loved cars. One grandfather (Oliver) was an Oldsmobile man until he discovered Honda and then the Acura. While the other grandfather (Gooding) was a Caddy man. Then there is my father who drove Chrysler's, Oldsmobile's, Chevrolet's and even a RV back in the day. So I grew up riding in all types of vehicles, while learning to listen for knocks and noises that were not necessarily normal to the wear and tear of the vehicle. To this day I have a fine tuned ear when it comes to cars.
Now I learned to drive on my grandfather's (Gooding) brown leather interior Caddy. He loved the car and I must admit it was sweet. It was smooth to cruise in, a fully loaded automatic dream ride. The other car I learned to drive in was my brother's Datsun. A little stick shift; that I frequently ground the gears on. To this day I doubt if I've told my brother about grinding those gears...LOL! By the time I got my first car which my grandfather (Oliver) helped me buy..it was a little red Toyota...I was becoming the expert at stick shifts and their mobility. The Toyota had no power steering and I could maneuver those gears like nobody's business. I even learned to down shift and slow down without ever touching my brake. In fact the weekend I got my car I took off to Boston all my myself..I figured if I could master this hill in our local garage near Macy's I could master a three hour ride from CT to Boston.
To this day I have driven all types of vehicles, but have owned the 760 Volvo (Turbo) and Wagon, Ford Explorer, Toyota, Land Rover Discovery (II), BMW (5 series), and Nissan Maxima (SE). Mind you each of these vehicles were unique in comparison to the other vehicle. The Max was driven off the show room floor with about 26 miles on it; it was pearly white and had mad shine that was luminescent in the sun. I fell in love with that car and when I had to give it up, it was a lease I went through Maxima withdrawal..LOL! I was forever burning rubber just to prove a point at the light that I got mad speed behind my game and I was a woman to boot that could rock a stick shift...LOL! Whereas, the Land Rover, I had to maneuver that baby gently..she was not good at taking sharp turns and burned a hole in my budget just for gasoline. She only got 300 miles to a gallon and took $80 to fill her up. Yet she was a beaut in regards to space. Now my favorite of all time was my Beemer...she took hair pin turns easily at speeds above 60 or 70 and had mad speed game that passed the Max on every level of performance. I noticed the difference almost immediately even though she was an automatic rather than a stick shift.
Each of my cars I would admire the beauty of their sexy lines, their color, the curves of the body. Each held a different fascination based upon the power of the engine. Whether it was 5, 6 or 8 cylinder. I have even driven putt putts. While going through life changes and a divorce, I had one car that when it rained, the puddles would accumulate on the floor boards. The other was an old UI (Electric Company) car with the insignia scraped off. Those two vehicles were a lesson in pride from God. He provided for me, but it wasn't what I expected, but through that process I learned to be humble and accept what He had placed before me. The lines weren't beautiful nor sexy on these two vehicles, but they got me to where I had to go and I learned to love them just as they were. It was always the thought process, I will not remain with this vehicle but will have an upgrade. Lesson learned!
I'm comparing cars because so many of us can relate to vehicles in a natural sense. We have an affinity for them and its just not about their ability to carrying us from one location to the next. Most of us are dependent upon them for work, school and our daily lives; and we all understand that in spite of their beauty (luxury) or deformities/defects (putt putts) there are certain priorities that must be addressed to release the power within the vehicle whether it is a tiny engine or a one that can surpass every car and leave a dust cloud of proof in its wake.
Ladies I must bring the vehicle connation to point...we as women hold so much power in relationships - - I keep stressing this because there must come a time when a transition and shift must began to occur if our families, relationships and communities are going to survive. We can not continue to tear at our own selves, covering and each other and expect our lives to manifest healthy components - change must occur. It is not without note that men hold responsibility to...each party must meet its own God given mandate. Yet woman were created as the helpmeet...one that meets the help(s).
Most of us love to drive power cars, but not putting the key in the ignition will not give you all the potential power of the vehicle. We are too caught up admiring the beauty of the vehicle..the color..the sexy lines..the curves of it's body but fail to understand the power is within the engine (spirit man) and it needs to be started to work..we're on the outside looking at it rather than sitting in the driver's seat...the plush leather seats..that hold you etc..which makes for an awesome driving experience. However, those seats even if heated will keep you warm, but will not produce anything else but heat and eventually we all tire of heat - particularly if it is 80 degrees outside. We must understand that the power is in the engine (spirit man) not in the chassis (physical man). Hence, we must get in the vehicle to learn of it's power. Such as it is in relationships; work is involved and we must have engagement of the minds and spirit.
If you've never driven anything but a 4 or 6 cylinder engine then you have no clue to what the power of a 8 cylinder can hold. You've been driving putt putts but desire a bigger and better car. Yet if you don't take care of that putt putt, your behavior will more than likely remain the same when you get the larger car. You won't realize that the dash board states 160 and because you are used to doing only 80 your foot will not surpass that 80 mark unless you get a jolt of realization that I'm driving a different car. This is the same with the men in our lives. No two are the same. The one that hurt you last year doesn't mean that the new one is going to do the same. So often we carry that comparison and bitterness in our spirit and relate all our experiences the same. If you can only handle the putt putt..then deal with the putt putt until you can do better; but make that step up vehicle a goal in the back of your mind. This just basically translates to internal visions and goals of your life of things you want ...and often things that God wants you to have. At that same time..learn to place boundaries in your life of what you will and will not do. Respect yourself first and then respect others; and know that deliverance is a process...and looking ahead often allows you to obtain that deliverance and that desired goal.
Ladies you do have the ability and power and understanding to up build our men and our communities. I realize that many have been hurt countless times and many have lost faith even if we are not willing to admit it. The healing must take place to reach to others. Queens daughters excel above the rest. We were designed to give and show love in spite of our tests and trials and sometimes inconceivable situations; whether they were brought on by generational curses and or situations or doors we opened on our own, God is still a healer and deliverer and there is no sorrow He can not fix. We do have the right and ability to repair breaches and gaps in our lives and the lives of our men, but it will not be done with bitterness. The word tells us that power of life and death is in our tongues (Proverbs 18:21); and psychology tells us self-fulfilling prophecies do come true, which is only an indication of God's word; and check this out...as you give to others you might just find out that that putt putt has now become the power car of your dreams.
Seek to know that you might grow.
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